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A woman finds herself alone in an elevator with the famous actor Robert Redford. As the elevator ascends, she can't help but stare at him. Overcome with excitement and nervousness, she finally blurts out, "Are you the real Robert Redford?" To which Redford replies, "Only when I'm alone."
Who are you, really? The authentic self, as described by Dallas Willard, is "the person you are before God, apart from image-management, performance, or approval."
If you've ever fiddled with one of those Russian nesting dolls on someone's bookshelf, you know that you can pull apart the two halves to reveal another doll inside, and then another, until you reach the smallest doll inside.
That smallest figure, at the base level, represents the real you. But over time, you developed protective layers to shield yourself. The cycle of putting up walls (or dolls) continued throughout adulthood, and before you realized it, nobody truly knows who you are.
There's an interesting observation that takes place on playgrounds around the world. If you pay attention to the youngest age group, it's a matter of time before one kid does or says something mean to another, even acting straight-up vicious at times. Such cuts, or harsh words, hurt, despite the sticks and stones nursery rhyme many of us grew up on.
But notice what happens next. If the aggressor offers up an "I'm sorry," the other kid drops the matter easily. Within seconds, forgiveness is granted, they become playmates again, and happily march off to whatever activity is next.
Not so with the next age-group up.
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Mean words ring out among them, too, but their response time to "I'm sorry" gets delayed. Life experience has taught these older children to protect themselves, and, like a Russian doll, they've erected outer shells over time. Forgiveness may flow, but lags a little, extended only with caution. The old adage "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me" feels imbued in them.
Self-preservation, or self-defense, though entirely plausible, has a tipping point-too much of it produces hardness. Some people shut themselves off from others, or shut others out, from fear of getting hurt, and they end up calloused. But wouldn't you rather risk getting hurt, rather than living isolated and alone?
Vulnerability may feel menacing, but consider the reward.
This is when the Gospel is at its finest. Good News is always present in God's good Word, but it's helpful to shine a bright light on it. If you read its pages, you will discover that Jesus adores the real, authentic you to the fullest. Blemishes and all.
A good place to start is Psalm 139. As you read and recite it, add your name in place of every first-person pronoun that's used. For example,
LORD, You have searched (your name) and known (your name).
You know when (your name) sits down and when (your name) gets up;
You understand (your name) thoughts from far away.
You scrutinize (your name) path and (your name) lying down,
And are acquainted with all (your name) ways.
Even before there is a word on (your name) tongue,
Behold, LORD, You know it all.
You have encircled (your name) behind and in front,
And placed Your hand upon (your name).
I'll conclude with a story about a man I knew who'd been married for over forty years and never once shared with his wife the difficulties that troubled him. He was taught from childhood that strength meant keeping silent.When she finally asked him late in life why he kept so much inside, he answered, "I didn't want to be a burden." What he didn't realize was that withholding himself became the burden.
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With the title, "Who Really Knows Me?" I, myself, have that to give it some thought. But the better question may be, Does Anyone Really Know You?
